Porno Watch: Kateikyoushi no Oneesan 2 — Even Cheaper Cash-In

And the first one was pretty cheap.

Warning: I think you guys know this by now, but Porno Watch is incredibly NSFW and I think I’ve finalized the format I’m going to be using for it (especially given how popular the Ane Haramix one became). I’ll keep the public images as safe as I can, but don’t click any of the links if you’re at the office or something.

Kateikyoushi no Onee-san was a semi-popular two-episode hentai game adaptation whose very concept and execution was so retarded and forced that you’d be more likely to laugh at its ridiculous dialogue than get turned on by these home tutors failing miserably at their jobs. It’s about this Ichika-look alike named Touya whose father hired four busty women to live with him during the summer in order to help him improve his grades whilst traveling overseas or something, but it’s incredibly obvious that he just hired specialty prostitutes to make his son lose his virginity due to how bad they are at teaching anything but how a woman’s body works and how he sends his son strange bottles of liquid viagra that cause him to ejaculate enough liquid to fill a glass of milk that’s neither half-empty nor half-full. Said women feign ignorance on the whole scam, but even if they legitimately did not know what was going on, they sure were quick to take their shirts off in order to further their studies of the male anatomy.

Now I wrote about the thing way back when I was still trying to get used to the whole blogging scene and it probably shouldn’t surprise you that I think said post is crap, but a lot of people seem to be able to find my blog through searching for that OVA. I’m looking at my search terms summary page right now and they include “hentai tutor”, “student lives with 4 tutors hentai”, “dad leaves town son fucks tutors hentai”, “hentai. dad leaves son with 4 women”, “hentai son bumps into hot tutors on train”, “hentai where guy fucks his tutors” – and whilst the number of hits regarding each of them aren’t great, but they’re pretty damn noticeable. I figure I owed it to the more perverted side of my readership to give this franchise a more experienced write-up given how they make up about 80% of the people who pay attention to me, so I could take another look at Kateikyoushi no Oneesan again. Or I could look at its even shittier sequel.

And that’s the end of Episode 1. Nothing but Touya having more sex with his tutors, bar Nagisa. Oh, but I’m sure they’ll fit her in the second episode somehow, so don’t worry.

  • We move on to the second episode and…okay are you even trying anymoreKateikyoushi no Onee-san? Just showing the tutors lounging on the balcony in either their swimsuits or their birthday suits with no context other than “blatant fanservice”. You’re not even bothering to use the “heat” excuse anymore!
  • By the way, I looked at the video timer and they pan on the ladies’ bodies and random cups for about a minute and a half before someone speaks.
  • The context of this scene is basically the four conversing about the loud noises that had been coming from certain bedrooms in the last episode, right down to showing flashbacks of those sex scenes I just showed you images of except with a white filter and the voice actresses talking over them. And when I say “flashbacks”, I mean clip show. Because for ten agonizingly long minutes, they’re basically showing you Episode 1 all over again in order to pad out the runtime so that this OVA can be thirty minutes long. I don’t think the second episode of Death Parade was as needlessly self-indulgent as this introduction.
  • And honestly, who would buy the second episode of Kateikyoushi no Oneesan 2 if they didn’t buy the first one? You’re cheating out the small number of people who’d pay money for this, hentai producers.

  • *Sigh*
  • You see these images I’m linking right now? Admittedly, I’m skipping showing you guys a few, but that’s basically the entire sex scene. Still images of boring positions with no natural transitions (as in, it just skips to the next image after a certain amount of time) and just a little movement so that you know you’re not watching a slide show. Except at the end, where it’s literally just still images whilst the voice actresses make noises. Even by the standards of repetitive movements in animated pornography from Japan, this is just lazy. It’s like they ran out of budget just when they were getting to the best part. Way to make a five way between Ichika and four voluptuous women with cute faces completely boring, hentai guys.
  • Just from basic tongue-licking, Sara? My god, American standards for pleasure are low.
  • And just to top it all off, the final climax only goes on for three-and-a-half minutes. Okay, that’s probably longer than most men would last in this sort of situation, but this is fiction and said scene is much shorter than practically every other erotic moment in the series (which could go on way past the ten-minute mark). Maybe if they didn’t waste so much time on showing us sex scenes we’ve already seen for twelve cunting minutes, we’d get a finale with more effort and longevity put into it!

  • Oh well, who cares? Touya wakes up to see his dick is normal, the tutors notice he’s still hard enough, they declare they want to have sex with him again, the credits roll, and I am officially done blogging this thing.
  • Here’s one last NSFW eyecatch for you guys. I hope you’re happy.

Minor Quips

  • I might blog the first Kateikyoushi no Oneesan again. Y’know, if people want me to.
  • Whilst it’s not an ironclad rule as of yet, I’m thinking of making all future Porno Watches come out on Wednesday aka Hump Day. Because what better day is there in the week to feel like you got fucked?
  • It can be argued that the last image I’ve made public is NSFW, but I’m pretty sure that mosaic isn’t really covering up anything because I don’t see how it’s possible to see Touya’s genitals from that angle.

One response to “Porno Watch: Kateikyoushi no Oneesan 2 — Even Cheaper Cash-In

  1. Hi there! This post couhld not bbe written any better!
    Looking aat this article reminds me of my previous
    roommate! He always kept talking about this.
    I most certainly will forward this article to him. Pretty sure
    he’ll have a great read. Thanks for sharing!

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