This is A-1 Pictures, and we are incredibly sorry for the product we have been giving you. Being the tools of Aniplex that we are, we are forced to adapt any popular material they give to us within a strict time span, no matter how unprepared we are or how many other projects we already have on our plate. So not only are we forced to adapt Reki Kawahara’s horrible yet really popular light novel with absolutely no changes made from the original source (and if there are, it doesn’t help the show in the least) so as to maximize profits in this godforsaken industry, we had to have the penultimate episode for our newest season of the show be one of the most anticlimactic usage of drama since the ending of Myself;Yourself.
We are sorry for the product we have given you and want to treat you like we have a brain, but given how well that’s been working out for Shinichiro Watanabe’s recent output and how many mouths we have to feed, that’s a risk we’re not willing to take. Yes, we were shocked that the original source had the gall to bring up the heavy topic of AIDS. Yes, we weren’t a fan of how emotionally manipulative Yuuki’s entire lifestyle was. None of us know why “going to school” is apparently the only solution these sorts of writers can come up with in regards to sick children. But this shit sells, so think of SAO – and this latest episode in particular – as a necessary evil.
Okay, we could have at least tried connecting Yuuki’s drama to Asuna’s better. Okay, we could have toned down the awful violin music that permeated all the emotional scenes more obtrusively than a ten car pileup in the middle of the highway. Okay, we could have stopped trying to involve Kirito in most, if not all, the important parts of this story even though he doesn’t have much of a physical presence in Mother Rosario. Okay, we could have tried adding some sort of creativity to anything that went on. And for the record, no we don’t support the viewpoint that females are pushovers even when faced with other females, they should always depend on men to help them and never give back in exchange, video games fix family problems, and the Chewbacca Defense still exists to this day.
But the sales numbers speak for themselves, and the forums aren’t much better. There’s a good number of people amongst you who really like our horrible product, and the last thing we want to do is tell them we’re wrong. Again, there’s nothing we can really do except continue to make more of this horrible show whilst saying that we’re sorry.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry…sorry. Also, Aniplex is at fault. Not us. We’re just industry slaves, man!
PS: Look forward to the finale next week and please buy the Blu-ray version of this show. We need your money in order to produce better actions scenes for the next season of Aldnoah Zero and more “fluid music scenes that will be constantly narrated over” in future episodes of Your Lie In April. And we also promise the visuals will actually be pretty to look at on the Blu-rays as well.
Lain: What are you writing?
Alex: I figured with A-1’s busy schedule, they’d need the apology letter they deserve to give humanity in advance.