Short Summary: Five years after the events of the last movie, the Transformers are hunted by the humanity they swore to protect and only a stereotypical Texas family can save them from extinction (dohoho).
Meh, I didn’t think the movie was that bad. Certainly a lot better than the other sequels that Ehren Krueger got his obnoxious hands on, although that might be because Shia LeBouf isn’t in this one (and thank god for that). It had some cool things to say regarding post-war development, and whilst I’m not quite buying the whole “it’s about how different races come together” angle that makes E. Minor love these films (the recent Fast and Furious films do that way better), I have to admit that once you get past how stereotypical the non-Optimus Prime Transformers are, it’s kind of cool to see a Japanese sword robot fighting along aside a hipster robot whilst riding a mechanical pterodactyl (note: may not be an actual scene from the movie. I’m just giving an exaggeration based on my memory).
Pity that just like the other movies, whatever goodwill I have for Bay’s version of the franchise takes a massive hit once the finale rolls and turns into one long, busy, tensionless action scene full of snarky dialogue that tries too hard. How do you make Optimus Prime riding a giant Dinobot whilst cutting other giant robots in half so exhausting?