Short Summary: Mark Zuckerburg is hired to create a dating website, which soon grows into him creating Facebook and fighting off the lawsuits and betrayals that he commits and receives along the way.
You ever see a movie or show or whatever that you get the point of, but you still don’t enjoy it? Well I knew I’d get that feeling when I saw the premise to The Social Network and how it was about the fictionalized events of a guy I don’t know much about in a setting that kind of annoys me creating a website I barely get any use out of. Thus, I avoided the movie when it first came out in theatres despite the critical praise. But my friends were hot on it too, so they eventually showed it to me during a ski vacation. And let me tell you, it gave me exactly what I thought I was going to get. Probably even more.
Oh god, I hate this movie. This is like Kyoukai no Kanata in that there’s some cool things going on in the background and it’s real pretty on top of that (it is David Fincher directing the film after all), but at the forefront is everything annoying about the world. And despite being only two hours, it felt an hour longer because you didn’t want to hang out with these unlikable people for another second.
Now let me make this clear, I know that unlike KnK itself, the characters are meant to be unlikable. As I said in the first paragraph, I know that the entire point of the movie is that being a douche may make you rich, but it’ll also make you lonely. And I’m aware that the final line at the end of the movie, along with that “you don’t get 500 million friends without making a few enemies” tagline on the advertisements for this film is meant to confirm that. I’ve liked films, and even anime, where you’re not really supposed to root for any of the characters because they’re bad people (Black Lagoon being one of the crowning examples of that). I even kind of like Catcher in the Rye despite it aging pretty badly since its release. But bad shouldn’t mean uninteresting and obnoxious, which is unfortunately what The Social Network is, because it pushed what it was going too far the second Jesse Eisenberg decided to get revenge on his bitch of an ex-girlfriend by insulting her on LiveJournal (man, I haven’t heard from that platform in a while) and creating that website where you can rank the attractiveness of Harvard’s female students.
None of the characters are funny, sympathetic, or have any charm, which leaves you with just pure irritability. The dialogue is robotically unnatural and takes itself way too seriously. The fact that the story has nothing to it besides characters being dicks to each other over money and a website without cracking a smile or any sort of interesting takes on their falls is just…urgh! It’s just not the kind of movie I want to see from Fincher. I want to see him do this kind of examination into the dark recesses of humanity with characters who don’t dawdle in fratboy thuggery. With a setting that is expansive and noir-ish rather than freaking Harvard. With actions that don’t involve being congratulated over a website that ranks which girl is hotter than this girl or psychotic exes setting their boyfriends’ things on fire or…aghhhhhhhhhh.
I don’t want to think anymore about how much this movie pissed me off, nor how Fincher hasn’t made a movie I’ve liked since 2007 with Zodiac. Let’s hope his take on Gone Girl this year is actually fun to watch.