TEXAS – In a small suburban neighborhood, a young man who goes by the Internet pseudonym, Mr. Flawfinder, was arrested yesterday after a friend of his, Alice, reported him to the police for being a menace to society.
“He’s a menace to society,” said Alice to the reporters.
Apparently, Mr. Flawfinder had invited the woman to his house in order to watch some “cartoons”, which Alice accepted without knowing what he meant.
“I thought we were going to watch Regular Show together,” cried the girl. “Or something cute like My Little Pony. I would have even accepted Uncle Grandpa or A Pilot’s Love Song. But no. He wanted to show me Dream Note. (censored) Dream Note!”
According to outside sources, Dream Note is apparently not the popular Japanese cartoon about a high-school boy killing people by writing their names on a notebook bequeathed to him by a Japanese demon. Instead, it is a two-episode animated porno about a man who finds a strange notebook out of nowhere that can make females have sex with him just by writing their names in it.
‘You can even write the moves they perform and whether they’ll accept being molested by ugly boys who make Rob Schneider look like Joseph Gordon Levitt,” said a random anime fan in the neighborhood. “Don’t ask me how I know by the way.”
It turns out the man is tutoring a young hot girl who happens to have a hot mother and a hot blonde sister. Their father is not in the house due to work all the time and the mother is apparently sex-starved. Using the notebook’s power, the man manages to turn all three females into sex slaves that will do his every bidding, from playing lesbian with each other to accept being shared with his students to unspeakable acts in the toilet. It is rather frightening that such a cartoon is allowed to exist.
“When we got to the end where the three females filmed themselves in the nude and drenched in *censored* about how they were happy thanks to their master in order to send to the father, I just lost it,” continued Alice. “That’s just disgusting. What kind of friend would show a girl that? In fact, what kind person would watch that?!”
We questioned Mr. Flawfinder for his atrocious behavior to his friend. He had this to say:
“I needed help to get through it in order to review it for the blog. I didn’t want to watch that horrible thing by myself. Admittedly, the sex scenes – particularly in the second episode – are pretty decent, especially when you compare it to the Powerpoint shit most current hentai do nowadays like (censored) Bust to Bust. And brainwashing is at least a more valid reason than most cartoons of its type. So yeah, I’ve seen way worse. But with that said, it’s not just bad, it’s wasted potential. That sort of Dream Note thing might actually serve as a cool tool in some Eyes Wide Shut-like thriller or something. But no, it had to be used in order to provide a flimsy justification for that kind of stupid male power fantasy where the females are male deprived because of that shitty reason known as “work” preventing the alpha male from being around, and they crave an ugly-looking man who has shitty horror music accompanying him and I swear his eyes glowed red at some point during that atrocity. Also, where the (censored) did that notebook even come from? They never even bothered to explain! It’s crap. Total utter crap that I didn’t have the will to get through by myself!”
Mr. Flawfinder was sentenced to six months in an insane asylum for watching child cartoon pornography and being a bad friend in general. None of the other inmates wanted anything to do with him because even by their standards, “he was (censored) up”.
“Seriously?” said an inmate. “Couldn’t he at least have invited a male friend to watch that sort of shit with?”