The Art of Ripping Off Female’s Clothes (In Cartoons Only): Part I

Today’s subject is a bit of a tricky one to go into due to how utterly ridiculous, yet serious it is. Thus, I will follow suit and discuss the serious issues and ramifications regarding it IN LIMERICK FORM!

Bleach

Hello my readers, dear
Today, I have a subject I want you to hear
It’s haunted me for so long
Regarding how so many get it wrong
That I can barely watch my cartoons without a sense of fear

You see, anime (and other cartoons) loves to destroy girls’ clothes
Reasons ranging from drama to laughs to giving a bloody nose
And it’s been frustrating me for so long
How many of them get it so wrong
It’s just freaking irritating
Watching what these idiots are illustrating
Where this brain damage comes from, who knows

shukufuku-no-campanella-06-15

You see, ripping female clothing is an art
In the same vein as cursing or explosions or a fart
You can’t just throw it in
And expect to pull a win
That’s just not very smart

So listen to me as I tell
About existing ways to do it well
It’ll be done in three categories
With examples for drama, porn, and comedies
All animated down to the very last cell

****

DRAMA

SAO%2024

We all know that Sword Art Online fucked it up bad
When Asuna was practically raped by an elvish cad
He breathed in her ears
And licked her tears
All in the goal of making the viewers mad

What the anime failed to see
Is that you need more to appeal to me
The assault needed more weight
Than making the viewers more irate
Than a vicious army of bees

RavenandSlade-birthmarkfight

Teen Titans did something similar
When Raven, the emo girl, was taken prisoner
By Slade in the fourth season
When he had some new reasons
To attack the Titans, especially her

Slade had a message for the team
So he kicked their asses with fire and steam
He then ripped Raven’s dress
Left it all but a tattered mess
To expose tattoos that haunted the girl in her dreams

Titans

The difference between Titans and SAO
Was that professionals worked on the former show
Their focus was on the threat
In order to ensure dread and fear was met
The tearing was just an unfortunate casualty, oh no!

It’s true the scene made people mad
Because what Slade was doing was very bad
But it also made people legitimately afraid
It allowed plot-focused stuff to be laid
Out in a way that made me and others glad

bmrk

My point is you can cause drama by ripping dresses that are long
Or other clothes that females wear like bras, skirts, and thongs
You just need an agenda in the works
Beyond exploitative emotional angry jerks
Something Titans got right and SAO got WRONG!

Join me in the future for part 2.
Where I talk about this art used for comedy and porn, woo!

PS: I’m not going to talk about the art of ripping men’s clothing, because it’s pretty simple: be more like Alex Louis Armstrong

4 responses to “The Art of Ripping Off Female’s Clothes (In Cartoons Only): Part I

  1. While I am an enthusiastic supporter of random outbursts of poetry everywhere, including anime blogs, the utter disregard for meter here and at The Cart Driver leaves much to be desired.

  2. This was actually really funny. haha
    I never would’ve expected a Teen Titan comparison, but it’s nicely done.
    And sadly very few anime men can be as manly as Armstrong. Though the entirety of the DBZ cast comes close