I have no idea what the Silver Link team behind Kokoro Connect were thinking when they decided to create this anime, but if I had to guess, it would be something like this.
Person A: Hey, I just found this great light novel series to adapt. It’s about a club consisting of two boys and three girls.
Person B: Haruhi-ripoff? Sold.
Person A: Well, not quite. This is actually a lot more serious than Haruhi. It tackles real teenage issues.
Person B: Like what?
Person A: Self-identity, love triangles, loneliness…
Person B: Those are all cliche stuff we’ve seen before. It’s perfect for our teenage demographic!
Person A: Domestic abuse, androphobia…
Person B: Whoa, those are serious issues that are hard to sell to to the teenage group.
Person A: Oh come on. I think we give our audience less credit than we should. Why else would our Baka To Test sequel absolutely suck?
Person B: True. But still, they’re not that smart. We have to tackle those issues in a way that they understand.
Person A: Well the novel has most of the issues solved by giving long, droning, pretentious speeches that you’d have to be six in order to not understand.
Person B: Hm, speeches do guarantee the best chance of success. But it’d get old if that’s the only solution.
Person A: Not these speeches. They actually do a fantastic job of integrating comedy into their serious nature in order to deliver unique results.
Person B: What do you mean?
Person A: Have you seen the show, Glee?
Person B: I don’t watch American TV. Just tell me about these unique results.
Person A: Well, one girl gets her issues solved by being told by a guy that he fapped to her. Another girl has an issue solved by a guy declaring she should go to a love hotel…
Person B: Ahahaha, that’s hilarious. It’ll be just like the Patch Adams movie: laughter is the best medicine. I don’t understand why that movie was panned by the critics.
Person A: Fuck the critics. Audiences loved it.
Person B: True. Hey, what about the domestic abuse issue?
Person A: Simple speech followed by a hilarious scene of the mother bitching out her abusive lover and shooing him away.
Person B: Kind of simple for such a serious issue, isn’t it?
Person A: Hey, we still have a mainstream fan base to consider. It’s good enough.
Person B: Well, as long as it’s funny…
Person A: Also, there’s this really funny solution where a girl has her issues cured by getting kicked in the balls.
Person B: Sold! Wait, girls don’t have balls.
Person A: Well, the premise of the story is that the main characters swap bodies due to a curse placed on them by a mysterious being.
Person B: Why didn’t you say that sooner? That’s a perfect premise to use.
Person A: Well, the premise disappears after the first novel for different curses like “unleashing desires” and “turning younger”…
Person B: Hey, at least the premises won’t run stale that way.
Person A: I guess when you put it that way…
Person B: Hey, you mentioned girls having issues? What about the guys?
Person A: Well, our main fan base is mostly male, so it’s natural for the girls to be troubled whilst the boys are mostly issue free. It worked for Key, right?
Person B: I seem to recall the males in Key stuff having issues of their own…
Person A: Well, males with personality aren’t our thing. We should stick to our own strengths of playing down our interesting premises, love triangles between a bland guy and two or more cute girls, and favoring the girls to disgusting extents.
Person B: It does sell…although did you have to put it like that?
Person A: Although we might not have much of a chance to put creative animation in this thing, given that it’s mostly a serious slice-of-life.
Person B: We’ll use the opening and ending for that. Hell, let’s change the ending with each arc so just to remind our audience that we can do creative animation. We just can’t find an opportunity to do it in an anime about body-swapping and teens turning into kids.
Person A: What a great idea. Hey, did I mention that there’s a little sister and a lesbian amongst the supporting cast?
Person B: Just tell me the name of this series. I want to get it adapted as soon as possible.
Person A: Kokoro Connect.
Person B: What a beautiful name. Great for a series that dares to tackle serious issues whilst consorting to the mainstream at the same time. If this doesn’t sell, I don’t know what will.
Person A: I agree. People will love it.
(end imaginary conversation)
I hated this anime. Hated it more than any other anime I saw this year. It was nothing but every Key anime written by some ten-year old who loved Patch Adams. Who loved Milk Money (the movie, not the hentai). Who loved fucking Glee. Its attempts to be tackle “real” issues in such a neutered and safe way are not only awful, but offensive. Its characters are shallow. Its animation is dull. Its comedy is extremely cringeworthy. Its dialogue is the worst I’ve seen in a long time. It’s interesting concepts are never really utilized in a creative way. It’s just shit.
- My opinion of Taichi got even worse since the last time I reviewed him.
- I also hate how they turned my favorite character into a whiny, love-sick prima donna.